Maybe ours arms don’t all look like Arnold or Michele Obama’s…but that doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of our gratitude.
Many of us have two fully functional arms…not everyone is so blessed. Your arms help you to carry all the groceries into the house…because two trips is for wimps.
Your arms allowed you to make your caregivers those macaroni picture frames when you were little. Your arms allow you to hug your loved ones. To lift your hands to wipe away someone’s tears. And your arms allow you to itch that scratch. Imagine if you couldn’t scratch your itches? Your arms allow you to bathe and dress yourself with ease, no matter what they look like.
There’s an million other infinitesimal things your arms do for you daily. Why are you grateful for your arms?
Let’s show some gratitude for our eyes today. First of all, that you even have eyes to read this. That you have eyes to spend countless hours scrolling through social media. That you have eyes to pick out the best filter on IG.
But more importantly that you have eyes to see your loved ones. Let’s show some gratitude to be able to see your loved ones smile, to see their facial expressions when they’re proud of you, when they love you.
Let’s show some gratitude for your eyes because they give you the ability to drive or ride your bike or your skateboard. They give you an independence to go somewhere on your own. Your eyes let you cook food for yourself with ease. Your eyes allow you to swipe left on Tinder for that guy that is trying waaaay too hard. Your eyes can alert you of danger before it comes close to you.
Most of us have this ability to see, a simple sense we take for granted, but that gives us so many gifts. And how many times have you been grateful for your eyes? They only rest when you close them.
Let’s show some gratitude for our eyes. What makes you grateful for your eyes?
As I mentioned on social media, I’m focusing on gratitude and appreciation for our bodies for the month of June. It’s so important be in a place of gratitude for our bodies. But sometimes this time of year makes it hard to love our real bodies, when media and advertising is hammering us with unrealistic body expectations.
Catch up on Questions #1-5 (especially #5 because it does the groundwork for this question).
Very important question below!
Each in the Dating Journal Questions peels back a layer to the way we interact in a relationship. The following questions are very important if you are looking to create and have a healthy relationship. Please do at least #5, but ideally #1-5, to be able to make bigger realizations and shifts for your highest good and optimal healing.
Sometimes we need to look back and understand the past to be able to move forward without repeating it. Isn’t that what every history teach told us through school? But it’s true. In order to create a new reality and a better future, we must understand the past.
The following prompt will give you clarity about how you learned to interpret love. Our caregivers, for better or for worse, are our examples of relationships and love. If they had a difficult time expressing or demonstrating love or affection, we’ll probably pull in a partner that does the same, because that is familiar. Even if this isn’t what we ultimately want, it’s how we learned love from an early age. Therefore these familiar behaviors or patterns in others confirm love for us because that is how we learned it. Even if we really want someone who is affectionate. So to be able to clear this out and pull in what we actually want rather than what we are just used to, we need to understand our early examples of love.
Check out this post for background on this exercise and Question #3 to get caught up.
Step 1. List all the characteristic of your ideal partner (without mentioning looks). Do at least 20 things (even if they seem silly and small).
Doesn’t play games
Clear about his/her feelings
Loves me unconditionally
Step 2. Go back over your list…how many of the characteristics listed do you possess? Are you kind? Are you clear about your feelings? Do you play games? Do you love yourself unconditionally?
If you are not clear about your feelings, how can you expect a partner that is clear? Why does the other person need to do all the work? Why do they have to be clear about their feelings but then you do not have to reciprocate? Why do they have to make themselves vulnerable if you are not going to be clear about your feelings? That seems a little unfair, selfish, and cowardly.
So if you really want a partner with the characteristics you’ve listed, the following question is, how do I go about adopting these characteristics myself? And eventually you can pull in a partner like your list.
I once had a client that only wanted to know which of his two suitors wanted him more, which one was more devoted, and which one wouldn’t leave him. When I asked him which one he wanted to be with, he would bring it back to, “Well which one loves me more?” So is this love or is this fear and ego?
In a relationship, we tend to just think of ourselves. When we imagine our ideal or current relationship, we think about how we feel and how our partner makes us feel. We want to be happy with our partner. We want to know our partner wants and loves us. Me me me me. But…how many times have you thought about how you want your partner to feel?Continue reading “Too much ME to make a WE”
We learn love through example. Our example is usually our parents or whoever raised us. We tend to adopt our beliefs about love based on our parents’ relationship. If your parents’ had a hard time being kind to each other, you probably sometimes interpret jealousy or criticism as love (which they are not by the way). If a parent was very controlling, you may interpret control as love (which is also not love). These are important things to recognize because if you want a healthy relationship, you need to bring these things to the light to be processed and healed.
So the following questions are to take a look at your interpretation of love through what you’ve learned about it. Grab your Purge journal and give it a go.
How did your parents/care givers show love to their spouse/partner/significant other?
Did they use kind words? Gifts? Touch? Do nice things for them? Spend time with them?
Give at least one example.
How did you parents/care givers show love and affection to you?
Did they use kind words? Gifts? Touch? Do nice things for you? Spend time with you?
Give at least one example.
How do you show love to your romantic partners?
Do you see any similarities in how you give or receive love and affection?
These journaling prompts will help clarify what you want so you can manifest the right relationship for you and also help you to notice and set boundaries when you are in something you don’t want but are allowing.
Be honest with yourself during these questions. Your Purge Journal is a safe place for you to process.