Dating Journal Question #5

Catch up on Questions #1-4

Sometimes we need to look back and understand the past to be able to move forward without repeating it. Isn’t that what every history teach told us through school? But it’s true. In order to create a new reality and a better future, we must understand the past.

The following prompt will give you clarity about how you learned to interpret love. Our caregivers, for better or for worse, are our examples of relationships and love. If they had a difficult time expressing or demonstrating love or affection, we’ll probably pull in a partner that does the same, because that is familiar. Even if this isn’t what we ultimately want, it’s how we learned love from an early age. Therefore these familiar behaviors or patterns in others confirm love for us because that is how we learned it. Even if we really want someone who is affectionate. So to be able to clear this out and pull in what we actually want rather than what we are just used to, we need to understand our early examples of love.

Question #5

  • How did your parents/care givers show love to their spouse/partner/significant other?
    • Did they use kind words? Gifts? Touch? Do nice things for them? Spend time with them?
      • Give at least one example.
  • How did your parents/care givers show love and affection to you?
    • Did they use kind words? Gifts? Touch? Do nice things for you? Spend time with you?
    • Give at least one example.
  • How do you show love to your romantic partners?
    • Do you see any similarities in how you give or receive love and affection?
      • Give at least one example.

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